This post is about why we need home. This is actually why I have felt called to create this blog! Bonnie Pue, my fellow author and blogger friend wrote this just for us. Read on, friend as I know you will enjoy her thoughts as much as I have.
Home is wherever I’m with you.
Home is not about a style of furniture or decor. Home is not about seasonal pillows and throws, or charcuterie boards and hosting dinner parties on the weekend. It is not about having clean baseboards or a manicured front lawn, though those things are certainly enjoyable and are a nice touch. But at the core of it all, true home is about being welcomed to come in as you are. Home is saying, “I thought of you and thought you might like this.”
Home is about being surrounded by others, who invite you to exist in their presence, even though they are vastly different than you. It is about being enjoyed, and about enjoying others, whether in resounding volumes or in silence.
Home is where you are safe to process the failures and sorrows of the day. Home is the place that celebrates your successes. It is where you are deeply known, quirks and mistakes included, yet loved and invited close anyway.
“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial.
To be known and not loved is our greatest fear.
But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved like God.”Tim Keller
Home, as it was designed to be, is a taste of heaven. It is a resting place at the end of a day, at the end of an adventure, at the end of a battle.
Humanity desperately needs a place to come home.
Developmental psychology tells us that true maturity only comes from a place of relational rest. You can hustle hard, attempting to master yourself and overcome your flaws, but it will all just be behavioural modification if there is not a sense of belonging that comes along with it. Without relationship, we are left striving to fit in, to get ahead and to prove oneself.
Every child and every human was made to be able to take off the backpack of life’s pressures when they come into the presence of at least one person. Too many men and women don’t know where that safe place is for them.
Our hearts are ready to come home.
Maybe it all started with the desire for gender equality back in the 1960’s. Goodness, we sure needed something to change. There had been so much emphasis on women finding their identity in husband-finding, baby-making and bread-baking that other areas of their personhood and passions were being neglected.
Universities had fewer females enrolled in the 1950’s than they did in the 1920’s. The stereotypes were even more potent than they are today, with numerous laws that discriminated simply on the basis of sex. Certain strands of education and career were seen as simply too difficult for girls.
Strong, loud voices rose up, trying to bring equality.
The trouble I see, is that in trying to say, “Woman are powerful and smarter than we’ve collectively given them credit for”, (which is true) they began to criticize the home as the place that kept them from finding fulfillment.
Instead of the home being spoken of as a sanctuary, it was cursed as a prison. Instead of it being treasured as a safe harbour for people to be able to return back to, it was considered the iron anchor that hindered dreams.
The mindset spread and the home became neglected. Men and women began to run away from home in the hopes of finding themselves.
Wanderlust is a real thing, but so is homesickness, and I dare say that we are now living in the midst of a generation who is longing for a home to run back to.
They say that home is where the heart is.
Men and women, you are the ones who are empowered to turning a house into a home for others. When you show up in courageous vulnerability and selflessness, you push back loneliness on behalf of others.
It may just taste like an oatmeal cookie or look like a folded pile of laundry, but it is sowing something into your family.
When you make changes to the physical appearance of your house, adding unique furniture pieces, painting a fresh colour on the walls, or adding photography and art pieces, remember that you are framing an important place where memories are made and hearts can be at rest.
Bonnie has been married to Bryan for nearly 12 years now. Together they have five
Looking for a way to create a home you love coming home to? Redesign, my book teaches how you can restore your heart and create a cozy home while enjoying the ones you love.